With Love And Kisses -
A Concert By Tiny Tim (1986)

   It was a murky, polluted May day in Southern Ontario, but, it was a rare Saturday off for my ex-wife Leah and I. A gala fifties and sixties Rock'n'Roll fest promised that both TINY TIM and LESLEY GORE would take to the boards and so, the doldrum drive to Welland, Ontario was not questioned at all.

   A noon arrival revealed a disparate scene - obviously, next to no one would be showing up for this event, which was set up next to a carnival at the Welland Fairgrounds. There MIGHT have been 200 folks, mostly hanging around on the picnic tables by the hot dog and ice cream trucks a hundred yards from the stage. When GARY LEWIS AND THE PLAYBOYS appeared, shortly after our arrival, most of these onlookers did not budge. Most of the chairs set up in front of the stage were sitting in a mud puddle, but, by locating ourselves 30 or so rows back along with five or so other folks, we had a reasonably dry spot. A clear view, 80 or so feet from Gary. I would guess that the likable son of comedian Jerry Lewis felt just about as odd as we did. Performing on a Stratocaster (rather than the double drum set of his pre-Vietnam days) Gary managed some good renditions of some of his 60's hit paraders such as; "She's Just My Style", "Sure Gonna Miss Her" and, "This Diamond Ring". The Playboys hits were alternated with chesnuts from the history of Rock'n'Roll. Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis (not to be confused with Gary's dad) and Jimi Hendrix (!?!?) were all covered and, Gary even managed to coax some decent psychedelic squeals out of said Strat. Although Lewis is not exactly a singer of great range, his music is pleasant and fun and, memorable for what it is... decent, slightly silly pop.

   Next up were a couple of local, kitschy nostalgia type acts from the bars of Niagara Falls. The best of these were some really goofy guys called Jeffrey and the Juniors. Now that there were twenty or so of us in front of the rostrum, we all gassed about what the promoter was thinking when he put these local "Juniors" on the same show with DANNY AND THE JUNIORS (!?!?). Our next gab fest with our neighbours included my ideas on how this "festival" couldn't possibly be going to work out financially ($28 times 200 of us?) and, that the promoter would probably be defaulting on payment to the artists and, maybe we might not see all of them perform. As, a singer/performer myself, I can understand either stance. Not getting paid is no fun - I can respect the artist who opts to stay at the motel and, I can admire the artist who decides to show up and play for the people that came out to see them.

   Several Elvis hits tapes later, just as the sun began to blast through the Southern Ontario/Western New York photo-chemical smog, on came "DENNIS YOST AND CLASSICS IV". But, where were said "Classics IV" (whovever the sam hill they used to be back in 1968-69 when their appealing pop hits such as Spooky/Stormy/Traces/Every Day With You Girl were hitting the airwaves)? Well, I guess those chaps were probably still at the Holiday Inn in St. Catharine's watching the baseball game of the week.

    The radio jock from WGR 55 (Buffalo) wandered out with Dennis and, mumbled something about Dennis being sick and, that he was going to mime - "just like on the teen shows that you might see in the fifties - the way they often did it on American Bandstand". As if we are in for some kind of special treat? Perhaps the greenhouse effect had gotten the better of poor Dennis? What followed was an unprecedented event for me and, I've witnessed some pretty awful gigs before, but, halfway through the first number (just after Dennis struck a pose, plopping his cowboy boot on the monitor cabinet), Leah and I decided to go do a little shopping, walking out on the ailing Dennis' act. I've always liked "Spooky" etc., but, this bit, miming to a tape at a live concert, was pretty much beyond all belief. I can't remember ever walking out in the middle of any artist's set before or since, let alone midway through his or her first song!

   "We are going to find something cool for Tiny Tim to sign" was my word to Leah. "I think he'll be one of the ones to actually show up and perform and, I want to meet him". I haven't collected the autographs of too many performers (Thelonious Monk, Charles Mingus and Eric Burdon are the only others that come to mind), but, both Leah and I wanted the former Larry Love to sign his john henry. I soon spotted a dismal little Welland shopping mall and said "That's it". - "You mean there's some cool thing for him to sign in THERE?". - "Yes, just WAITING for us".

   Right away I spot a gift card shop and, front row centre rack, there's a happy pack of ten paper plates with expressionist tulip paintings adorning them. A done deal seconds after crossing the threshold of the mall. A brief stop at a music store's sale bin coincidentally netted us the sheet music for the theme from the brilliant comedy movie "Serial" for 25 cents. A coincidence considering that the laff fest had starred Martin Mull and TUESDAY WELD (who Tiny Tim/Larry Love was once infatuated with).

   We next grabbed a couple of adult beverages, to calm our nerves a little. Exhausted by the poor air quality, we returned just in time to see the incredible conclusion of Dennis Yost's mouthing experience. Holy jumping beans, Batman. Suddenly, there was a mass exodus of most of the picnic table dwellers as they clamoured to a new picnic table off to one side of the stage where Dennis was making himself available for autographs.

   A couple of hours and many excuses from the dj later, it started to get dark. The peanut gallery was not getting any bigger. By this time, we knew that all the delay (so and so is "held up at the border" etc.) had to mean that performers were not getting their proper dough and, that some wouldn't be showing. Then DANNY AND THE JUNIORS (minus the late Danny Rapp) hit the stage (with one original member, whose name I can't remember) and, it was obvious that they were going to have some fun, despite whatever rigamorole was going on with the promoter. The proprietors of "Rock'n'Roll Is Here To Stay" and "At The Hop" smoked us with a young, guitar/bass/drums backing. The old, late 1950's hits were delivered and, the band encouraged requests. Incongruous proposals from baseball hatted pick-up driving types (now standing on mostly hard clay up front) such as Honky Tonk Women followed. Each time, Danny and the Juniors were more than happy to do whatever was asked of them. It was a very cool show, rich in New York street corner style singing and comedy. Leah and I were quite impressed and finally, we were actually starting to have a really good time.

   FRASER LOVEMAN (lead singer for THE BRITISH MODBEATS) once told me that TINY TIM was one of the most genuinely nice performers that he had ever met and, I knew that Tiny would show up for the people, even if some of the other artists would choose to stay at the Ho-Jo watching a Saturday Night Live re-run or something. I had time to think of Fraser's tiny story, while they played "Return To Sender" over the PA for the 19th time that day...The scene was Steve Paul's "The Scene" night club in NYC in about 1967. THE BRITISH MODBEATS (from St. Catharine's, Ont.) were doing a week long gig and TINY TIM was the compere. Fraser had been stomping with the bell-bottomed, barefooted Modbeats and, opening night,he contracted a big, painful sliver from the boards of the stage. Tiny tended to the wounded vocalist himself, making sure that the foreign material was dislodged from the Loveman lad's pied and, that the resulting gash got properly disinfected. Fraser and his father, who was also the British Modbeats manager, were most impressed with Tiny and his manners . Fraser's pa (who was initially from England) spent any idle moments over the rest of the week enthusiastically gabbing with Tiny Tim about their mutual passion for English dance hall music.

   Faced with yet another wait I began to some mental meandering, thinking of other things I'd heard about TINY TIM and, all that I knew of his history. Some of my ruminating I did for Leah and a couple of the folks we had by now met in the audience and, some of it I kept to myself...He was born Herbert Khaury in NYC (growing up in Washington Heights, Brooklyn) in 1932...at age 3, he begun listening to his father's grammophone and, he was completely seduced by the pop melodies of the early 20th Century. Names like Henry Burr, Billy Murray, Irving Kaufman, Sam Ash and Charles Harrison came to mind...his heroes became guys like Arthur Fields, Rudy Vallee and Al Jolson...that he loved Stephen Foster...that he collected sheet music and old records, anything to find a song and, learn it...that he went back to Civil War days and even back to the Victorian era...all in search of a song...

   TINY TIM grew up in the age when a youngster spent most of Saturday in the movies (which beats standing near a mud puddle in the smog, watching Dennis Yost mime his hits) watching at least three movies and a few variety acts inbetween. I imagine that young Herbert Khaury absorbed all he could from that wild mix of freaks, fantasy and vaudeville. Hence, his idea for the white foundation make-up that he wore throughout his career? That look, combined with the look of his hair, pre-dated many visual movements in the music business. Glam. Metal. Goth. Whatever, Tiny was there first with it.

   Tiny began performing under a bunch of different stage names (including that "Larry Love" monicker) in Greenwich Village clubs in the 50's for amounts like $40. I wondered if Welland would manage to pay as well in 1986. In the 1950's he discovered a 1929 recording by Rudy Valee called "Oh Baby, Where Can You Be" and, it was at that point he started to delvelop his own original style. His singing voice went from a low growl to a high falsetto. And, for those who never heard Tiny Tim's speaking voice in person - yes, he talked that way too. His speaking voice was just as musical as his singing voice!

   In the early days, when he rode NYC transit, looking for those $40 jobs, everyone stared. People moved away from him on the subway. There he would be with his white foundation make-up and, his uke sticking out of a paper shopping bag from his dad and mom's apartment. But, TINY TIM wasn't about to change his appearance to suit anyone. He had to suit himself. He certainly did not ever wear the uniform of his times. He was devoted to music and, to his vision of what he was to become. Few other entertainers have exhibited the courage that Tiny Tim did. He once told Lenny Bruce's daughter that, if you were going to be an entertainer, you had to learn how to take the negatives.

   Tiny Tim persevered and, he won the respect of his peers by the time he came to popular notice in the 60's. Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Lenny Bruce and Jimmy Page all viewed him to be a major talent. When BOB DYLAN was convalescing from his terrible motorcylce accident in the 60's, Tiny visited Bob in his Woodstock home. Mr. Tim sang Bob Dylan songs in a Rudy Valee voice and Rudy Valee songs in a Bob Dylan voice to the "voice of a generation". Betcha that cheered the injured pop star! Tiny also visited his friend LENNY BRUCE when he was in hospital, recovering from pleurisy. He met MICK JAGGER (probably at the The Scene) in 1964. At a party at the Dakota Apartments, he sang "Time Is On My Side" and Jagger's jaw dropped. At the time, Tiny was working in a lesbian bar called the Page 3 (where Jim Morrison later hung out) and, Mick came down, out out of respect, to watch the show. He even paid to get in. Tiny appeared at the Electric Circus in NYC with The Band as his backing group. One night in 1969, he appeared on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show in front of 45 million people...tonight he would appear in front of 200 or so people at the Welland Fairgrounds, every bit the trouper.

   Suddenly TINY TIM walked into the stage lights with the drummer and bass player from DANNY AND THE JUNIORS. From the first plonk on his uke, the musicologist in him ran amuck. Sheer joy prevailed as he opened his 45 minute smash-boom-bammer of a set with a 40 minute medley of what seemed like nearly every song ever written. The bassist and drummist gazed at one another in amazement. The bassist watched for Tiny's lightning switcheroos from one number to the next. When each change was made, the bass player then looked back at his drummer friend and, their eyes lit up (as did ours). The ebullient, chubby Tiny throttled the ukelele so hard that we were all a-feared that it'd get broke up real good. The playing was sparse, but, furious - just whatever tiny chords that were necessary to accompany his singing. And, sing he did! When The Saints Go Marching In provided a reference point for a melting together of a couple of hundred snipets (and, some complete songs) from every style and period of popular music imaginable. Swanee-Elvis-Tip Toe Through The Tulips (with kisses blown, despite the break-neck pace). Beatles-Put Your Hand In The Hand-On The Good Ship Lollipop. Back to When The Saints Go Marching In. Bicycle Built For Two-Bill Bailey-Michael Row The Boat Ashore-Five Foot Two-Comin' 'Round The Mountain-Beatles-Toot Toot Tootsie-Battle Hymn Of The Republic-Bill Bailey(3 times altogether)and back to The Saints etc. Everything was thrashed out at a million miles an hour by a pudgy New York City boy in his middle 50's. TINY TIM looked resplendent in a white suit coat and matching pants that were covered in little black musical notes and symbols. More Beatles(Day Tripper!?)-Put Your Hand In The Hand (again)-Bye Bye Blackbird-Roll Out The Barrel and then, a final, furiously paced When The Saints Go Marching In (7th version during the medley) ended Tiny's thunderstorm of themes.

   The incredible cheering from the small crowd brought TINY TIM back to his fans for an encore. In his pleasant, polite, chirping voice he thanked the masses and then simply announced - "I never met Mr. Presley, but, he did send me a telegram once, wishing me ALL the best of luck". With that stated, Tim blasted into "Hound Dog". It was one of the rockingest, funniest bits of pop music I've ever heard and, seen. It ended with Tiny on his back with his chubby legs, red socks and beat up Adidas flailing the air. The music notes on his pants were flying, seemingly accompanying the notes flying off of his uke. Our fave little 6'1", 250+ pound cherub suddenly jumped up blowing kisses, thanking the audience and then, thanking "Danny And The Juniors' fine orchestra". Then he was gone.

   As I mentioned earlier, I've seen a lot of gigs in my time and, I'd have to say that this one was one of the top ten for sure. When the promoter/defaulter announced that Lesley Gore would not appear (She was held up at the border in Buffalo? Earlier it was stated that she was backstage!) we weren't even really disappointed...we had just seen someone who had made OUR jaws drop.

   Next, it was time to go backstage and meet our hero and, get those paper plates with the tuplips on them signed. Today, my TINY TIM autographed paper plate rests near the turntable in my record room. Nearby is a picture of ELVIS PRESLEY hovering over a turntable, while sifting through a stack of 78s. These two objects are kept where they are kept as a tribute to the way that these two guys used to love to study other people's records. I love to do that, too.

   Meeting TINY TIM was of course, fabulously funny. Tiny always had this formality about him. He refused to address adults as anything but, Mr. This or Miss That. So, Leah became Miss Leah and, I became Mr. John. Tiny was happy to discover that besides my being a singer/songwriter, Leah and I are both artists. "My wife (his 2nd)is an artist!" he said with excitement. Tiny then drew us aside and out came his wallet. He got out a couple of pictures of a very young looking little girl to show us and then exclaimed in a very high pitched voice "There she is and, of course, there's no telling who she's with tonight!".

   Miss Leah quickly changed the subject. "Tiny, you did a lot of songs tonight, but, you didn't do, Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?". TINY TIM had once sung the Rod The Mod hit on the Mike Douglas Show. Then Mr. John added "And, you didn't do your hit single version of Great Balls Of Fire". Tiny put his wallet away. He pulled his hair from his face. His hair, which he dyed with Loving Care No. 81 - Redwood Brown. His hair which looked like it had not been combed since 1967, and, which would make Marc Bolan or that guy from Twisted Sister, Dee Snider jealous. He looked at us in earnest from over top of that Margaret Hamilton-esque nose (Miss Leah and I had met MH as well). "Well Miss Leah, well Mr. John, I wish I'd known that someone wanted to hear them. You're quite right, I did leave them out, but, why don't I sing them for you right now?!". And, so he did. And so, I'll never forget that day.

   Soon after his gig in Welland, TINY TIM went from town to town with The Great American Circus, playing the parking lots of great American supermarkets. In the 1960's he was a big Toronto Maple Leafs hockey fan. He was friends with coach Punch Imlach, colourful forward Eddie (The Entertainer) Shack, sprawling, badly scarred goalie Johnny Bower and, mostly with the late defenseman Tim Horton (who sported a flat top brush cut at the time). Seemingly, theirs was a different world from his, but, they loved him. Perhaps today, Tiny is doing a tour of Tim Horton Coffee Shops for his pal, in the great beyond.

   My friend the American musician and artist DAVID GREENBERGER summed up TINY TIM beautifully, in a letter to me a couple of years ago... "One of the remarkable characteristics of Tiny Tim was his embracing of the music of all eras...poring through stacks of sheet music journals and biographies in libraries to drink in a time that largely pre-dated his own birth...he understood that the evolution of music was shaped in large part by the enthusiasms of youth. He listened to and welcomed the musics of each new crop as they stepped up to bat. And that's a rare quality in people even a fraction of his age...Sadly, gone with him is the wealth of facts, songs and stories that he turned from musty library artifacts into a heritage alive and breathing".

We won't forget you Tiny Tim.

©2000 by JOHN MARS
Visit John's Web page at: www.johnmars.com